escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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