I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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