God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I believe in your delicious
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