Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
