What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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