Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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