I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
