is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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