so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
