My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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