i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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