I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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