party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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