Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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