Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
