Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
