He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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