i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
