It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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