eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So much rum. So many feels.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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