ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
