I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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