seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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