The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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