My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is wine microwaveable?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Randomize