She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
