u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
