you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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