omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
