i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Are we still banned from the library?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
