I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
