Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
