Do you still have your period?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
