Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
