We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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