I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
