why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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