lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
