Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
