how can u be prego again
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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