Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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