He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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