No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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