i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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