I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
