Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
