k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
