I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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