i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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