Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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