Me. At least after what I've been through.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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