What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The power of my boobs compel you
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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