proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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