Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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