ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
