the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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