Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
