how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
