Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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