If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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