THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
