Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
